if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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