At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
