Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
