Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
