so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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