I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize