you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I have tasted many bathrooms
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
