just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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