We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
