no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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