Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
