how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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