Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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