I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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