She is in my trunk
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
