We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
