If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Randomize
