? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
