Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
