i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
