Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
