I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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