Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize