we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
