idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
