Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
