When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
its liver damage thursday
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
