he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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