No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
