There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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