He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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