Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
