My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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