so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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