But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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