i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
