on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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