Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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