u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Shame - the story of my life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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