No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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