Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
