I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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