We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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