haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
