i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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