I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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