Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
