did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
