wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
