Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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