It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
