roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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