So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize