Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
