PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
