I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You pole danced in your parka.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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