My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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