All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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